On January 23rd, 2010, something spectacular happened on the Internet. I don't know what that was, but it's also worth noting that I was bored that day and decided to message my bro Tani and see if he wanted to hang out. I became slightly concerned after I received no reply to my initial greeting, but I quickly shrugged it off as he was probably just taking a dump or playing his new PSTriple. After about a half-hour of continued away status, I became fearful that something may have actually happened to him. Shitting couldn't possibly take so much time and twenty-six minutes is more than enough to complete a play session on a system that has no games. Just as any other worried friend would, I proceeded to bombard him with instant messages in hopes that the pinging sound of his messaging client would get his adrenaline pumping enough to push the bookcase (or whatever household item that fell on him) off and drag his mangled body to his computer desk to see what kind of human interaction was in store for him. I knew deep down in my heart that he would do the same for me, so I continued my frantic cries for attention until I became bored and decided to masturbate instead. Below is the chat log from this life-changing event that, in retrospect, probably didn't change that many lives (or save them, for that matter).
I later learned that Tani had been watching his girlfriend play Uncharted: Drake's Fortune on the PS3, despite my previous theories about his untimely demise. He had left his headphones plugged in to the computer, making it difficult to hear Trillian's cries, but giving me a chance to get in touch with my inner bro. Since that fateful incident, I've made it my life's work/lame pastime (either way sums it up nicely) to find some new brolloquialisms to toss about whenever I greet a fellow bro. I created this page in hopes that the bros in question will return the kindness with one of the many brophemisms I've come up with and strive to create their own.